


Saving Bella

by Irishgurl15



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Brainwashed, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Kidnapping, Master/Pet, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Slavery, Slavery, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-06-06 15:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15197429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irishgurl15/pseuds/Irishgurl15
Summary: After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?





	1. Chapter 1

Bella’s pov:  
He calls me Iris.  
He says I am his beautiful flower.  
I am His precious pet.  
I am His most prized possession.  
What I really am is His slave.  
I am collared and leashed,  
Like an animal.

His name is James.  
My Master.  
My Owner.  
My own personal nightmare.  
James is a Vampire.  
His eyes are as red as the blood he takes from the humans,  
His hair as blonde as the sun,  
And his body as muscular as can be.  
He says I am lucky to have him.  
That he saved me.  
James said if he hadn’t taken me from the ballet studio,  
I would be dead.  
That Victoria would have found me and given me a horrible painful death.  
But the thing is,  
I already feel dead.  
Death would be better than this life,  
If you could even call it that.  
I am paraded around and shown off to his friends.  
Forced to do humiliating tasks.  
My once bright brown eyes are now dull and empty,  
And my once beautiful brown hair doesn’t flow as it used too.  
I don’t remember anyone or anything leading up to the night of the ballet studio,  
All I remember is feeling pain and being in James’s arms.  
I realized early on that the more I fought back,  
The harder he hit.  
It only caused me more pain thinking about my past.  
So I chose to forget it all.  
My role is to serve and obey without hesitation.  
Being enslaved and cooped up in this little cottage,  
That is in the middle of nowhere,  
There is no way to tell time.  
I don’t know it, but it has been three years since I was taken.  
And I will soon be saved.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

Master is home.  
He is in a bad mood tonight,  
It has been this way everyday  
He seems paranoid and worried everyday.  
I don’t know why.  
He goes out all day and comes back at night.  
He knows he has broken me so doesn’t worry about me escaping.  
I know not to question him,  
That will just result in more punishment.   
I put down what I’m doing and kneel at the front door with my head down, submissively.  
The door opens.   
I see his worn out dirty shoes then here his sinister voice,  
“Hello my precious pet. It has been a long day don’t you agree?”  
Hands grab my hair yanking my head backwards,  
Forcing me to look him in the eyes.   
“Yes master, it has.”  
My voice is quivering, terrified of what would happen next.  
My master looks around seeing I have not finished my chores.  
“Iris, my sweet, sweet Iris. I give you a simple task and you can’t complete it?”   
His voice is very calm and I know the punishment will be brutal.   
“Master I am sorry, I don’t what came over me today.”  
My voice is shaking but no tears spill.  
I never cry.   
Master doesn’t like tears.  
“You know I love you, but I do not tolerate this kind of behavior.”  
His voice is sickly sweet.  
It terrifies me.   
I am dragged to our bedroom and forced on the bed.  
I know what will happen next.   
I remove my shirt and lay on my stomach,  
Holding on to the headboard.  
Without warning I feel the first lash of the belt on my back.  
I gasp in pain but don't scream.   
This continues going on for what feels like hours,   
Until I can’t take it anymore.   
I am getting dizzier and dizzier.  
I can feel myself start to fade.  
I close my eyes, but not before I hear several growls.  
But it is too late, I am already gone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

Edward’s Pov:  
It has been three years.   
Three years since I’ve seen Bella.  
My Mate.   
My Love.  
My only reason to exist.  
I’ll never forget the day,  
She ran away from Alice and Jasper.  
We showed up at the ballet studio only to find her gone,  
And also James.  
I had distanced myself from my family,   
Residing in Rio.   
Only coming out to hunt and search for Bella.  
It was as if a dark shadow had been cast over the family.   
No one has been the same since Bella’s disappearance.  
Even Rosalie was sad.  
Jasper and Alice blamed themselves for not keeping better track of her.   
It was as if all the lights went out and I was surrounded by darkness.   
My family and I searched and searched for her.  
Every lead we had turned into a dead end.   
Until now.   
I was with my family in Denali,   
Mourning the third year disappearance of Bella,  
When Alice finally had a vision.  
It was of a forest and cabin,   
The Tongass National Forest.  
I recognized it because it was Emmett’s favorite place to hunt.  
I suddenly sat up and growled.  
I thought to myself,  
“How could she be this close, the entire time?”  
I was ready to race off for Bella but Carlisle restrained me.  
“Son, we have to think this through and make a plan. Rushing into this will only harm Bella and be dangerous for us.”  
It made sense what Carlisle said.  
We decided that only Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper would go to rescue Bella.   
With Carlisle medical knowledge, Alice seeing the future, and Jasper’s fighting skills and being able to manipulate emotions it would be the safest option.  
We didn’t want to overwhelm Bella with too many people.  
They soon left and all I could do was sit and wait.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

Iris (Bella) Pov:   
It was as if I was floating.  
As if I was on a soft fluffy cloud,   
And all around me was peaceful and quiet.  
It was as if I never had to worry about anything again.   
It was as if I was free.  
I thought this must be heaven.  
But then something changed.  
It was a sound.   
A woman’s voice.  
Very faint and comforting.  
I strained my ears to listen more.  
“Bella, Bella sweetie wake up. You are safe now, please open your eyes.”  
I was confused.  
Who was Bella?  
My name is Iris.  
I am the pet of James, my master.  
I have nobody.  
And why did she say I was safe?  
I was never safe.   
I knew if I didn’t obey and open my eyes there would be punishment.  
I slowly opened my eyes but was blinded by the bright light and quickly shut them.  
I tried again, and everything was blurry at first.  
I was met by seven pairs of golden eyes.  
I knew they were vampires by their beauty.  
I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched cowering into the corner of the wall.  
I looked up at all the shocked faces.  
I realized that there was no collar around my neck anymore and someone had changed me into sweats.  
I thought to myself,  
“Where am I? Why am I here? Who are all these people? Where is my master?”  
I remember in the early days of being with master,  
He threatened to sell me to other vampires if I didn’t behave.  
Who would be treat me much worse than him.  
I realized that this must be it.  
I now belong to these vampires.  
I must learn the rules quick if I want to survive.  
I saw a figure approaching from the corner of my eyes,  
He had blonde hair and a cautious look on his face.  
His steps were slow and hesitant.  
I saw how the other vampire’s looked at him.  
He must be the patriarch of this coven.  
He was my new master.  
I bowed my head submissively.  
“Bella do you remember me?”  
His soft voice asked.  
I looked at him confused.  
I had never seen this man in my life.  
I shook my head, afraid to speak.  
I heard him sigh.  
“Do you recognize any of us?”  
I looked around at each vampire.  
On the far left by my bed, there was a petite woman with a heart shaped face and kind eyes, who looked to the blonde haired man adoringly.   
I could tell they were mates.  
Next to her was a tiny girl with spiky hair and a kind smile holding on to a blonde haired man who looked like he had been through hell and back.  
There were bite marks up and down his arms and neck.  
I knew I would do everything in my power to stay out of his way.  
Then there was possibly the most gorgeous woman I had ever seen.  
Long blonde hair cascaded down her back and her face was made of perfection.   
She was wrapped in the arms of a big burly man.  
My eyes widened.  
His muscles could’ve ripped through his shirt,  
But his face seemed as innocent as a child’s.  
My heartbeat increased just a little bit.   
Then finally there was Him.  
He was so perfect he could be a god.  
Nevermind that he was a god!  
His bronze hair tousled to the side and his golden eyes filled with pain.  
I don’t know why but suddenly I was filled with a mix of emotions.  
A mix of sadness, but also lust?  
Rushed through me all at once.  
My heart started to race as he stepped closer.  
I couldn’t look away.  
Just above a whisper I said,  
“Please sir, please don’t hurt me.”  
He stopped in his tracks and his breath caught   
His sweet honey voice filled the air  
And said,  
“I would never hurt you.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

Iris (Bella) Pov:  
I soon learned that the patriarch of the coven’s name was Carlisle and his wife was Esme.  
The tiny spiky haired girl was Alice and her mate was Jasper.  
The beautiful blonde was Rosalie and her husband was Emmett.  
Finally the godlike one was Edward, and in a way he was the scariest of all.  
He made me feel all these new foreign emotions.  
I knew I wouldn’t be able to control myself around him.  
It was a disaster waiting to happen.  
Everyone had left the room except Carlisle and Edward.  
Carlisle spoke up distracting me from my thoughts.  
“Bella are you alright?”  
I stared back at him unsure what to do.  
Carlisle saw my hesitation.   
“You are free to speak as much as you’d like.”  
This surprised me.  
With James I could only speak when given permission.  
This could be a trap.  
But hesitantly I spoke up,  
“Why do you keep calling me Bella? My name is Iris. And are you my new master?”  
Before Carlisle could speak, Edward spoke up.  
“No your name is Bella… Bella Swan. You are nineteen years old from Forks, Washington. James..”   
I cringed at the name. Nothing Edward said made any sense.  
Carlisle put a hand on his shoulder stopping him mid sentence.  
Edward had directly interrupted his superior.  
I cowered further into the wall waiting for a fight to break out.  
James often got in fights with his friends and I always ended up in the middle of them.  
I was usually black and blue by the end.  
But no fight happened.  
I visibly relaxed.  
Instead Carlisle and Edward seemed to be having a silent conversation.  
I could see it in their eyes.  
After a few minutes Edward stepped back and Carlisle came forward.  
“I’m sure you are very confused right now and have many questions. I will try to answer them to the best of my ability.”  
I didn’t understand anything that was happening.  
I was certain James had sold me to these strange yellow eyed vampires.  
But Edward said something different and Carlisle was calm and collected.  
They hadn’t yet punished me for my slowness.  
And they have said nothing but soft sweet words to me.  
This terrified me.  
I knew it was only a matter of time before they got fed up with me.  
It felt as if the whole room was shaking and the temperature dropped.  
I was only aware of two voices speaking frantically before,  
It went black.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

Edward’s Pov:  
I just lost it when Bella asked Carlisle if he was her master.  
How could anyone treat a living human being like that?  
It is deplorable the way she was treated  
As if she were a toy.  
An object.  
How she is afraid of her own shadow.  
How she is afraid to do or say anything in fear of punishment.  
My heart broke in half as she begged me not to punish her.  
I wish I had gone with Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper to kill James.  
How James tortured her,  
How he beat the Bella Swan out of her,  
How he made her forget,  
Fills me with rage.  
I have never stopped loving her all these years.  
I know that deep down inside her that Bella Swan is still there,  
She just needs some help to come out.  
Carlisle was calmly trying to speak to Bella after my little outburst,  
But she got overwhelmed.  
Her body started violently shaking and she had this vacant look on her face.  
We tried speaking to her to get her to calm down but it didn’t work.  
I watched helplessly as she lost consciousness.  
Carlisle said that it was from all the stress that had been put on her body today,  
And that she probably needed this rest.  
I wanted to stay by her side forever but Alice wanted to meet with us all.  
I ran to the living room to see my family all sitting down.  
Alice started to speak.  
“I bet you are wondering why I have gathered you all. Visions from the past three years of Bella’s captivity are just coming now, I don’t know why they were blocked before. Seeing the visions there are some rules that have to be put in place for when Bella wakes up.”  
I’m anxious to hear them.   
I’d do anything to help Bella get better.  
“Bella is suffering of PTSD and has had no control of her life the past three years. Her identity has been stripped away and has been programmed to follow every order without hesitation.” Alice pauses and turns to Carlisle.  
“She believes you are her new master and will do whatever you say. Bella will look to you for guidance and rules and you will give them to her. But it is critical for her to know that she is in charge of her own life.”  
Carlisle is nodding deep in thought on how to approach this.  
“Rules are that you should not touch Bella unless she has given you permission, do not show your anger in front of Bella, do not yell, never order Bella around, always ask , do not lock her in anywhere, and if she wants something, you give it to her.”  
Everybody was feeling pretty distressed by the end of it.  
None of us were anticipating this many problems.  
But that just made us determined to help her.  
“Bella will sleep the rest of the day. You have the next twelve hours to prepare and ask any questions.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

Iris (Bella) Pov:  
I woke to the bright light shining through the room.  
I looked around to find myself alone.   
I realized that this was the first time I really got to see my room.  
I was in a king sized white poster bed facing the open glass windows.  
James never let me on the bed unless it was to pleasure him or be punished.  
He said I was just a filthy animal who didn’t deserve to have any comfort.  
I wanted to enjoy this while I could.  
The walls were a plain white and all there was in the room was a bureau and a little night stand next to my bed.   
You could see the forest ranging for miles and miles and the snowy white mountains in the distance.   
It was like something out of a postcard.  
The view represented freedom and happiness, something I desperately craved.  
But I knew that was just not possible for me.  
This was my life.  
I was so deep in thought that I was startled when there was a knock on the door.  
In popped Carlisle and he was carrying a bowl of soup.  
“Hello Bella, I hope you had a good rest. I thought you might be hungry so Esme made some food for you. I would like to also talk to about some stuff.”  
The soup was placed in my lap but I just stared at it.  
I was starving desperately wanting to devour it all, but I knew I had to wait.  
My master hadn’t given me permission to eat.  
The food sat in my lap a minute, untouched.  
Carlisle finally seemed to realize why I wouldn’t eat.  
“Bella when I or anyone else in this household gives you food we want you to eat it. You do not have to be given permission.”   
Carlisle said slowly, really empathising his words.  
I nodded wide eyed, scared I would be punished.  
“Bella I am not going to hurt you, I would never hurt you. It’s not your fault.”  
I nodded and looked at the food again. It seemed to be Tomato Soup and I couldn’t remember the last time I had it.  
With James he said I was even lower than the dogs and didn’t deserve to have money spent on. He fed me leftovers he found in the garbage and made me eat out of dog bowls on the ground, just like real animals.It was humiliating but I soon got used to it.  
I pushed the spoon aside and picked up the bowl with my shaky hands and brought it to my lips.  
I slowly sipped the soup, savouring the sweet taste it brought.  
I didn’t know the next time I would have this.  
I could feel Carlisle’s eyes on me but I didn’t care. All I wanted was this food.  
I too soon finished the soup and placed it on the nightstand.  
I wanted more but knew I would have to be patient.  
Carlisle stepped forward.  
“Bella there is some stuff I would like to tell you, but you have to stay calm. Can you do that for me?”  
I nodded not sure where Carlisle was going with this.  
“As Edward was saying earlier your name is Bella Swan, not Iris. Your parents are divorced and   
you lived in Phoenix, Arizona with your mother Renee, before moving to Forks, Washington to  
live with your father Charlie. While in Forks you meet my family and you discovered we were   
vampires. You agreed to keep our secret and soon became a very close with us. One day a group of vampires caught your scent and one of them made it their mission to hunt you. There was no stopping him once he was started. We tried everything to keep you safe but it was too late, but he eventually got you. Do you know who that vampire was?” I looked at Carlisle in shock I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My mind was going in circles when one name came to my mind.  
“James” I whispered.  
“He took you before we could even do anything. But we never stopped looking for you.” Carlisle’s voice broke at the end of the sentence.  
“How come I can’t remember anything? How come it took you this long to find me?”   
My voice was breaking and my heart racing.  
“James tortured you everyday until your mind just snapped. It was your way of coping with the pain. You became who James wanted you to be. He was a very skilled tracker and hunter. He moved so fast that by the time we knew where you were you would be gone. That is why it took so long to rescue you.”  
I didn’t blame them for not finding me sooner.   
“Why do you keep saying was?” I asked cautiously.  
Carlisle sucked in a deep breath and said,   
“James is dead.”   
Right as he said that it felt as if this heavy weight had been lifted off my chest. It was as if I was a blind man being able to see for the first time.  
“Dead?” I repeated trying to fully wrap my head around it.   
I couldn’t believe it.  
The man who had made my life a living hell.  
Who made me want to end my life.  
Who stole away my identity and made me forget.  
Was Dead.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

My heart was beating a mile per second,  
I didn’t know what to feel.  
A large part of me was screaming in joy and relief but another part,  
A very small part felt sad and almost guilty.  
I couldn’t understand why.  
I heard someone calling from a distance.  
“Bella… Bella, are you ok what’s wrong?”  
I looked into Carlisle’s worried eyes.  
“He’s never coming back for me... Is he.”   
I said it more as statement to myself then a question.  
“No he is not. He’ll never touch you again.” Carlisle growled.  
I flinched away at the sudden noise.  
Even if I once was close with this coven, I am not anymore.  
I don’t even remember them.  
They are still vampires and have superiority over me.   
Carlisle is my master and I have to treat him as such.  
I have become too comfortable, it will only hurt me in the end.  
The sooner I learnt my place the better  
Carlisle stopped growling as soon as he saw my fear.  
“I apologize I never meant to scare you.”  
I nodded in return.  
“It is alright… Master.”  
I whispered the last word, not sure what his response would be.  
It was silent for a minute.  
“You do not have to call me master but you may if it makes you more comfortable.”  
I was stunned. I had never been given a choice before.   
And besides what else would I call him?  
Surely I couldn’t call him Carlisle!  
I shuddered remembering when I had called James by his first name.  
I quickly learnt my place after his so called, “lesson”.  
Carlisle could see I wouldn’t call him any different.  
Suddenly he spoke up,  
“I would like you to come downstairs to see some of the family. It’s only Edward, Alice, and Jasper that are in the house right now. Rosalie, Esme, and Emmett are out hunting.”  
My eyes widened and my stomach turned.  
I wasn’t scared they were hunting, I knew they hunted animals. James always talked about how you weren’t a true vampire if you didn’t hunt humans. He said the weak vampires with the yellow eyes hunted animals.   
I was more scared because of what would happen downstairs.  
Whenever James had friends over he would tell me to come meet them.   
What James really meant was to come down there so they could rape me endlessly into the night.  
I never had any choice.  
I was stupid to think it would be different here.  
I shakily got out of bed and slowly followed Carlisle out of the room, always staying two steps behind him with my head down in a show of respect.   
We made it down the stairs to the living room where I saw Edward at the piano and Alice and Jasper cuddling in the love seat.   
They all looked up when they saw me enter, I froze at the entrance.  
At first nobody said anything.   
Alice broke the ice and came over to me.  
The way she walked was so graceful it was as if she were dancing.  
“Hi Bella. Why don’t you sit down we were just talking about playing a game.”   
Alice said with a smile.   
I knew what she meant by a game.   
I had played many with James and his friends.   
Both men and women.  
I looked at Carlisle for approval.   
“You can go, I’ll just be in my office if you need me.”  
Carlisle walked away at human pace back up the stairs.   
I was alone with them now.  
Alice had pulled Jasper from the room stating they needed to get something.  
Edward had taken their seat and was cautiously looking at me.   
This was my que.   
I slowly walked in front of Edward and got on my knees.  
I had pulled off all my clothes leaving me just in my underwear.   
Edward seemed to be getting tender and tender each moment.  
I reached for the zipper of his pants and he seemed to finally understand what was happening.  
I heard him catch his breath and mumble something.   
“Bella stop.” He ordered in a stern voice.  
My body froze.  
This was an order, I had to obey.  
All of a sudden Alice was back in the room with us.   
She put the clothes back on me and soon Carlisle as well as Jasper were there.  
Everyone’s faces were in shock and worry.   
I didn’t understand what I did wrong.  
Alice sat me on the couch while Jasper stood at the far end of the couch with Edward and Carlisle took a knee by my side.  
“Bella look at me. How come you just did that?” Carlisle calmly said.   
I looked at him confused.   
“Isn’t that what you wanted master? Miss said we were playing a game.”   
I heard Alice sigh.  
Before Carlisle could say anything, Alice interrupted.  
“One, do not call me Miss, my name is Alice so call me Alice. And Two, when I said game I meant Chess.”  
I looked at Carlisle in confirmation.   
“Alice is right, you do not do that here. You never have to do that again.”  
I looked at Carlisle wanting to speak. I was still not comfortable speaking freely.  
“You may speak.”  
“Whenever he asked me to come meet his friends and play games I always did that.”  
Carlisle realized right away his mistake.   
“Bella what they did to you was abuse. You were not having sex with those people. It was non consensual so it was rape, we would never do that to you. When we say games we mean actual games and when we want you to meet people we actually want you to meet them. Do you understand?”  
“Yes Master, I am very sorry. I will not do that again Master.”  
I looked down embarrassed. I’m sure my cheeks were bright red.  
“It is alright. You are not in trouble.”  
This was only the second day here and I had already messed up.  
How was I gonna survive?


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

It had been a few weeks since I was rescued.  
And now almost a month.  
Ever since the incident with Edward he’d been avoiding me like the plague. I kept replaying in my mind what had happened, he probably thinks I’m insane.  
I felt almost sad that Edward had denied me the chance to pleasure him.  
What good was I to the Cullens if they didn’t want sex or my blood?  
James had drilled into my mind that those things was all I was good for.   
It was what I had been taught to do.   
I always had to obey or else I would be taught a lesson.  
And James's lessons were not fun.   
I have the scars to prove it.  
But now I was being told differently.  
I was told that I was beautiful and smart and funny.  
And that there was so much more to me than my body.  
I didn’t know what to believe anymore.  
Carlisle has been helping me improve my strength each day and including me in family activities.  
I have been slowly becoming more brave.  
I have instigated conversations on my own and I’m making an effort to get to know the family.  
I have started asking for more things though always making sure I had Carlisle’s permission before.  
Though I still called Carlisle master.  
I had started to become very close with family.   
Especially with Esme and Alice.   
Esme loved making food for me which I greatly enjoyed and treated me like a daughter.  
Not some slave.   
And Alice was just a bundle of joy and energy.  
She treated me like her best friend and counterpart.   
It felt like people actually cared for me for once.   
I don’t flinch as much anymore and I’m getting better surrounded by groups.  
I’m still hesitant around Jasper and Emmett though.  
Somewhere inside me I know they harmless but I can’t help but feel and react.  
And Rosalie is interesting.   
She never does more than smile at me but I can feel her watching me from behind sometimes and looks like she’s about to talk to me but then backs away.  
When I look in her eyes I see a sort of pain.  
A pain that seems to have been there for many years.  
I can tell she has been through a lot.  
But the one person I don’t see a lot is Edward.  
Whenever I’m with the family, Edward never comes down with us.  
It is all my fault.   
He thinks I’m a freak and has alienated himself from his own family because of me.  
It felt awful knowing I was the cause.  
But at night sometimes I can feel his presence.  
Almost as if he is watching me.   
Not in a creepy way but in a comforting way.  
Like he’s guarding and keeping me safe from all danger.  
I have nightmares and flashbacks every night of my time with James.   
They literally feel like I am right back in the situation again.  
With James I had constant night terrors. I would scream and cry and rock back in forth but it annoyed him so much, that he decided to give me another one of his lessons.  
Let’s just say I now sleep like the dead.  
I don’t tell anyone what I’m going through each night because I don’t want to seem like a burden.  
I didn’t know it but tonight would be the worse nightmare I can’t shake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

Dream/Flashback

I’m laying on cold hard metal bars of the cage.  
This is where I sleep.  
It has been six months since James took me.  
Six months of being away from Charlie.  
From the Cullens.  
From Edward.  
There was this pain in my chest that got worse each day I was away from Edward.  
I didn’t know what to do anymore.  
It was stupid of me to think James actually had my mother.  
I should have listened to Edward in the beginning.  
It is pure torture here.  
James is trying to break me and make me submit.  
I’ve been fighting tooth and nail everyday.  
But I’m getting kinda worried.  
It’s been kind of hard to remember Edward’s face.  
Everyday I seem to lose another memory.  
I don’t know how long I have left until I completely forget.  
Since I misbehave so much James has gone to the extremes to break me.  
James says my new name is Iris and that his name is Master.  
My right to free speech has been taken away.  
I’m beat until i’m unconscious.  
He’s starved me and deprived me of water for weeks on end.  
Makes me use the bathroom in a litter box just like a real animal and has me wearing this ridiculous collar and leash.   
Has me sleeping in a cage. Made me eat out of dog bowls.  
Took away my clothes for a month because I spit on him.  
And he locked me in isolation in the closet for almost up to a month.  
I could feel myself starting to fade.  
But i’m stubborn and that didn’t break me.  
Yet.   
I cling to the only memories I have of Edward.  
Us reading Romeo and Juliet in the meadow, listening to the sound of my lullaby, staying up late looking at the stars, and the way his lips tasted on mine.   
I know if I forget those memories I’ll be completely gone.  
I can’t let that happen.  
I didn’t realize how much time had passed until there was a loud bang on the cage and the door unlocked.  
“Come out now.” I heard his cold voice say.  
I was tempted to spit on him but I had just earned my clothes back.  
If you could even call them that.  
My outfit was comprised of a skimpy lace black bra and underwear that barely covered me.  
I reluctantly came out.   
I tried to keep a brave face to show I wasn’t scared of him but my heartbeat was beating a mile per second.  
He knew I was terrified.  
I decided to play by his rules. I didn’t want to get punished again.  
I crawled out of my cage and kneeled before him with my eyes and head to the ground.  
I knew not to speak or look up until given permission.  
I felt his hands on my head as he softly petted my hair. It was calming and scary at the same time and I knew something bad was going to happen.  
Suddenly he starts to speak.  
“Pet, look up at me.” I look up at him and I can tell something is different.  
“Did you know you sleep talk?” He asked.  
I shook my head as my heart started to beat faster and faster.  
“Speak!” James growled as he yanked my head back.  
“No master I did not. I’m sorry master.” I spoke quickly.  
“Well you do. You keep speaking about that so precious Edward of yours. Well guess what the Cullens are never going to find you. Even if they do manage to track our location, we’ll be long gone. You better get it through your thick skull that you are mine forever. It’s best you forget about the boy.” James whispered in my ear.  
At this point I was holding back the tears as I gasped for air.  
“Guess what else? I’m going to take something that Edward never got to have and it’ll be our special moment.”   
At that moment it felt as if time had froze.  
He pulled me on the bed and ripped all my clothes off.  
It felt like there were ants crawling all over me and finally I couldn’t take it anymore.  
“Please, please don’t do this. I’ll do anything you want just not this!”   
I was sobbing by this point and couldn’t think straight.  
I could feel his lips slowly moving up neck and could feel his hands on my legs as he forced them open.  
“Shut up! You deserve this for thinking about another man when all you need is me!”  
I was screaming at this point as I felt him nip at my skin with his sharp teeth.  
Suddenly It felt as if my bottom half had been split open and lit on fire.   
Something hard had entered me and I became nauseous as soon as I knew what it was.  
His hands were all over me, touching me in the most intimate places that nobody but myself has ever touched.  
He banged my head against the headboard as I continued to struggle.  
There wasn’t one part of my body that had been left untouched.  
I knew if I ever got away from James that Edward wouldn’t want me.  
I was now dirty, impure, no longer a virgin.  
I’d been saving myself for Edward someday.  
I wanted my first time to be with the right person and I knew it was Edward.  
But that is no longer possible. I couldn’t stand to know the look on Edward’s face when he found out.   
He would never take me back.  
This was the last straw for me.   
I couldn’t let myself continue on this cycle of pain.  
I closed my eyes and let myself think of all the good memories I had with Edward and the Cullens.   
I hoped that one day I would be found and that I would remember.  
But for now that was not possible.  
Finally the last one came and I opened my eyes.   
All that was left was a pet in the arms of her master.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

I woke with a sudden gasp and it felt as if my heart was going to beat out of my chest.  
I was trembling and trying to make sense of the memory.  
Suddenly I heard a noise   
I wiped my head to the left and saw Edward.  
He was standing at the door.  
He took a hesitant step forward asking if he could come over to me.   
I nodded my head.   
Edward came over and sat on the edge of the bed but not touching me.  
“Wha.. wha.. what are you doing here?” My voice was trembling and it felt as if I was going into shock.  
“ I didn’t meant to come in like this and invade your privacy. But I heard your heart racing and you were gasping. Are you ok?”  
He sounded sincere enough. I thought he thought I was crazy,  
I nodded my jerkily.   
“I’m sorry for disturbing you it won’t happen again.” I whispered, keeping my eyes on him at all times.  
“You don’t have to hide or be afraid. We are all here and we want to help you.” Edward looked as if he was physically in pain at the sight of my trembling sweat covered body.   
I nodded my head in acknowledgment. I wanted to ask Edward something but I wasn’t sure if I should. Edward noticed my hesitation.  
There was something different about Edward than the others. I had to figure out what it was.   
“You can speak and ask me anything you like.” Edward stated.  
I slowly opened my mouth and started to speak.  
“I know that I knew you and your family before but were you and I close? Like more than friends?” My voice shakes as I lay there waiting for the answer.   
He just looked at me wide eyed and didn’t answer.   
“Please Edward. I can handle it just tell me!” I pleaded with him.   
All I wanted was to remember and I couldn’t do that if no one would be honest with me.  
Edward could see me desperation.   
“Yes we were more than friends. You were… and still are my one true love, my mate. It felt as if a piece of me had died when you went missing. I couldn’t cope and I barely left my home. I was about ready to end my life when Alice had her vision of you. I had never stopped searching for you.” His eyes were filled with pain and passion. I believed every word he had said.   
A part of me felt guilty though. He didn’t deserve someone as disgusting as me. He and his family would surely kick me out once they realized all the disgusting things I did.  
I hadn’t even realized that he had moved even closer to me and was now sitting on my left side touching my arm. But I wasn’t scared, I was calm and relaxed.   
“Bella are you starting to remember us?” I could hear the hope in Edward’s voice.  
“I’ve been having little flashbacks of small things like of a meadow or listening to this lullaby and us reading Romeo and Juliet.” Edward chuckled at the last one.   
“That was one of your favorite books. Although your all time favorite was Wuthering Heights.” He laughed. “I never could understand your fascination with that book. It was such a dark romance with a tragic ending.” He said in jokingly manner.   
I smiled feeling content. I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this way.  
“Tell me more about my past. I want to remember.” I desperately asked him  
“Anything for you love.”  
At that moment it felt like all time had stopped, he had called me love. I felt myself thrown into another memory, but this time it was a good one.   
Suddenly I heard my name being called.   
“Please talk to me Bella. Please I’m sorry, please come back to me.” I sounded as if he were about to start crying.  
I was now back in the present. I looked over at Edward.   
“You used to call me love. We would cuddle in my bed late at night and you would sing my lullaby. I would lay my head on your chest wrapped in your arms and before I fell asleep you would say, “good night love.” I whispered.  
“Yes, yes that is exactly what I’d do. You remembered. I can’t believe you remembered.” I could practically feel Edward’s joy radiating off him.   
At that moment I couldn’t help myself. I grabbed Edward’s hand and forced him to lay down beside me and I curled up into his chest and felt his arms wrap around my waist.   
I stiffened for a moment but then relaxed. I realized that now I wasn’t afraid of Edward, I was afraid of losing him.   
I gripped onto him with all my strength refusing to let him go.   
“Stay with me. Don’t leave me. Please stay, I need you. Why did this have to happen to me? Why me?” I felt his hand rub my arms up and down as he tried to calm me.   
“Shhh, Shhhh. It’s alright, I’m here and I’m not leaving. I would never leave you again. I love you. I’m never going to let anyone touch you again, you are safe now.” His voice was so soothing and calm and soft.  
For the first time in three years I didn’t hold it back.  
I felt my eyes start to water and sting.  
My nose started to burn and I felt myself breathing heavier and heavier.   
For the first time in a long time,  
I cried.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being kidnapped years ago, Bella Swan has given up all hope of being found. She has submitted to James and has forgotten all of her old life. But when she is rescued, will she be trapped in the darkness forever or can she find the light?

I was fading in and out the rest of night, I wasn’t ever fully asleep.   
I was terrified that I would wake up and this would all just be a dream and Edward would be gone.  
But he stayed by my side all night calming me when I was scared.   
It was finally 8:00 am when I decided I didn’t want to sleep anymore.   
I leaned my head against Edward’s chest and inhaled his scent.   
It was like a drug to me. Could it get any better than this?  
“Good morning love. Are you sure you don’t want to get anymore sleep?” His soft voice broke my trance.   
I smiled up at him and shook my head. I didn’t want to have anymore nightmares.  
I was wrapped up like a cocoon snuggling next to Edward’s cold body. I could tell there was something he wanted to ask me.  
“You can ask me anything.” I said looking up at him.  
“I don’t want to be rude, it’s a very intrusive question.” He said.  
I scoffed at this. I trusted Edward and knew he would never do or say anything that would hurt me.  
It was silent for a moment and then he spoke,  
“What was your dream about last night?” His voice was barely above a whisper.  
I paused stunned for a minute. I knew he would leave me I told him. I struggled to find the words.   
“It was about th.. the.. Night he finally broke me. He tortured me for hours before taking me to his bed. It was so pa..pa..painful. I tried Edward, I tried to stop him. I held on as long as I could.” My eyes were becoming watery and my voice was cracking.  
“But I just couldn’t take the pain anymore. He promised he would stop hurting me if I just submitted to him. But he didn’t, if only the abuse got worse. He told me I deserved what I was getting for being such a whore and I started to believe him. He said that I wanted it and secretly liked it.” I was full on sobbing now, I couldn’t stop the tears. I felt Edward rubbing my arms and shushing me.   
“How come you don’t hate me? You’ve practically alienated yourself from your family and me. I thought you hated me after what I did to you. Why don’t you hate me?” I was practically shouting at him now, I just needed to know.   
“Bella I don’t hate you, I could never hate you. You just surprised me when you did that and I didn’t want to make you any more uncomfortable and scared than you already were.” I nodded at Edwards words slightly doubting him. I knew that soon he would come to his senses and realize what a terrible person I was.   
“Love you are hurting right now and I think it would help to speak to someone. I know Rosalie had wanted to talk to you. Would you be open to speaking to her?” I could hear the desperation in his voice.  
“I will talk to her but I don’t think she likes me very much. She’s never said more than one word to me before.” I said.   
Edward chuckled at my comment. “She just doesn’t know how to approach you. She understands what you're going through more than anyone else.” Edward said softly.   
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t imagine anyone else going through the same pain I went through.   
“Would you like to talk to her now?” Edward asked.  
I nodded, I wanted to get it out of the way as soon as possible.   
A minute later I heard a knock on the door. It was Rosalie.   
Edward left to leave us alone and Rosalie came in and sat on the couch.   
“If it is alright I would like to tell you my story.” Rosalie said.   
I nodded my head and I was interested to hear what she had to say.   
“I was born in 1915, Rochester, New York. I had two younger brothers, my father was a banker, and my mother was a housekeeper. Because of my father's job it kept us wealthy during the Great Depression. I had a fantastic life and was so spoiled. I was said to have been the most beautiful girl in all of the county. Knowing that made me very vain and caused me to be, as Edward would say “pig-headed’.”  
Rosalie laughed humorously. I could here Edward saying that.   
“There was only one family that was more beautiful then me and that was the Cullens. At the time it was just Edward, Carlisle, and Esme. I didn’t understand how beautiful they were and that made me angry. All the girls envied me and all the men wanted to marry me, but there was finally one man that caught my eye. His name was Royce King. He was a regular at my father’s bank so I ended up seeing him a lot. Soon after meeting him we were engaged.” Her voice became bitter and dripped with disdain. I knew something bad was going to happen.   
“I had a friend named Vera and she was married and had a baby boy. The love in their relationship was so obvious that I realized I could never have that in mine with Royce. That was what I wanted. To be a loving mother to beautiful children and have a husband who I would adore the rest of my life. But that wasn’t possible with Royce.” I could hear the sadness in her voice. That was what I wanted someday.   
“I was walking home from Vera’s late one night when I heard my name be called. I realized it Royce and his friends but they were drunk. I tried to walk faster away from them but Royce pulled me close and started showing me off to his friends. He started pulling off my clothes and threw me to the ground. I tried to fight back but they were too strong. They raped and beat me and left me for dead in the alley. After they were done I lay there on the ground praying for death to come soon, I was in so much pain.” I could feel the tears in my eyes remembering how it felt. I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone else.  
“Instead of death, Carlisle found me. He smelt all the blood. He brought me back to his house and turned me into a vampire. It was the most painful experience of my life. I resented him for what he had done but couldn’t help to admire my beauty. It soon got better after I found Emmett. He is my life now and I know I wouldn’t be where I am if it weren’t for him. Bella you see you may feel hopeless feel as if you have nothing left to fight for but you do! It will get better. You just have to give it time. Often you'll find happiness in the most unexpected places.” Rosalie arms were wrapped around me as I silently cried.  
“How is it ever going to be better? I can barely remember you guys and even with Edward or any of the men in your family I’m afraid to do anything in fear of punishment. I know you won’t hurt me but I can’t help it.” It felt so good to get that off my chest. It felt as if a million weights had been pulled off of me.   
“It is completely normal to feel that way. After all you have been through it would be not normal to come out of it fine. Everyone understand you need time to adjust nobody here is judging you.” Rosalie whispered softly.   
I finally felt as if there was hope for me.


End file.
